4 Real Ways To Handle Rejection
The great thing about online dating is that you get to check out and privately scrutinise a potential date before asking them out - often people you’d never have approached in a bar. The plethora of love seeking singles available put the odds of finding love firmly in your favour because the more you do it, the greater the chances of meeting ‘The One.’ But now for the downside.
The more dates you hook up with, the more likely you are to get rejected at some point and let’s face it, it’s far easier to reject someone digitally than face to face, right?
So whether it’s your first rejection or you 985th, it sucks doesn’t it? It’s a painful knock to our confidence and a nasty kick in the pride.
We at city dating site Lovestruck.com have been there and got the soggy t-shirt when it comes to comforting the weeping rejected. Here’s how to take the knocks, brush yourself off, and get back on that dating pony.
It’s not me, it’s them.
You’d expect to hear this line from the ego-bruised dater but there is some truth in it. As fab as you are, you are not and won’t always be everybody’s cuppa joe. People have particular preferences when it comes to looks, habits, hobbies, life outlooks and manners, just as you do. Put another way, go to any supermarket and check out people’s shopping carts. Are any two ever filled with the same goods? OK, we’re not comparing you to groceries but you know what we’re saying…
Ouch. There are several names for people that do this but the technical term is ‘ghosting.’ These are the people that vanish after a date just like it never even happened. They don’t reply to your messages and leave you wandering aimlessly through a confused ghost town complete with tumble weeds. For whatever reason, and it could be a really small one, they decided you weren’t what they were looking for and were too cowardly and rude to tell you, two traits that actually you don’t really want in a future partner anyway, right? Dwell on it no more and reward yourself with another date ASAP.
Thanks, but no thanks.
They declined your offer of meeting up. OK, at least they were honest. They checked out your profile and decided for whatever reason, the contents didn’t do it for them. Frustrating, as in the flesh you’re even better, but they never gave you the chance. As tempting as it might be, don’t ask them to list the reasons in an Excel document. Thank them for bothering to reply (this is to be encouraged) and move on. You weren’t close enough for it to matter. Oh, and don’t be changing that profile. Remember, the ‘right’ person WILL like all they see.
The traditional date-then-dump.
This is probably the mother of all painful heart-breaking rejections because you’ve gotten close, shared thoughts, been intimate and even imagined what your future children would have looked like. When you’re dumped after dating for a while, you can’t help but feel completely rejected. Whatever their explanation, honest or not, you have to accept their decision to end the relationship. Even if you’re crumbling inside, keep your pride at all times. Don’t beg them to take you back, don’t bombard them with texts with crying emoji’s or waste time browsing those old couple selfies. Who wants a partner you’ll always feel isn’t 100% into you? Time is a healer. You will move on, you will find the person that doesn’t want to ever let you go, ever. Accept no less.