5 Ways To Confidently Move On After Being Ghosted
New relationships always come with butterflies, excitement and optimism. When you meet that special someone, a person with whom you want to share everything with, you’re raring to commit and can’t wait to see what the future holds. When everything is seemingly going so well, there isn’t a cloud in sight—you go on your date as planned, you kiss at the doorstep and life feels pretty sweet.
That is until you never hear back from that person ever again.
Enter “ghosting,” the 21-century phenomenon everyone’s talking about.
If you haven’t been a victim of this cowardly dumping strategy, here’s the nitty-gritty: Ghosting is when someone you’re dating suddenly ends all contact with you and you’re left wondering what the hell happened! It can make your confidence plummet below the deepest of depths.
Everyone is entitled to change his or her mind about a relationship—it’s human nature!
But what ever happened to doing what’s best for both yourself and others? What ever happened to the good old “I’m sorry, but this isn’t working out for me” line?
There’s actually an international conversation about this subject, and whether or not it’s morally wrong. After chatting with my girlfriends, I realized that ghosting is happening more and more.
It actually happened to me several years ago—I was 6 weeks into dating a very promising guy, and then he dropped off the face of the Earth.
I remember thinking, “what a coward” and swiftly moved on… but dealing with such a tough blow isn’t easy for everyone.
Here are 5 simple ways you can empower yourself and confidently move on after you’ve been shafted by a ghoster—because YOU matter!
Embrace ghosting as a life lesson
I’m a firm believer that life presents you with difficult situations that trigger your weak points, which in turn help you learn valuable lessons and become stronger. Ask yourself, “How do I feel about this?” Acknowledge your feelings and let yourself go through the motions—seek solace in the fact that when a lesson is learned, you likely won’t have to go through it again. Let that trigger your self-worth. You can get through anything and emerge prosperous.
Feel out your emotions, but don't act on them
Being ghosted can make one irate, sad, lonesome, resentful, and much more. The all-consuming whirlwind of emotions can take over your entire being and make you feel undeserving of love and maybe even vengeful. If you experience this form of rejection, your first reaction may be to snap back with a lengthy tirade, or shamelessly gossip and spread rumors about your ghoster. Don’t let yourself go there! You are far better than him and should accept the situation as fate—evidently, your relationship wasn’t meant to be and you probably dodged a bullet.
Enjoy your friends
Sometimes, all you need is a nice girls' night out, whether it be in an intimate or lively setting. Surrounding yourself with those you love and value is often the best way to get through a crappy situation because their goal is to uplift you, just as you uplift them in their times of need. By connecting with your friends, you’ll curb those feelings of dejection. Sometimes, all you need is their support to get through.
Don’t you dare feel ashamed
You didn’t ask to be ghosted. It’s not something you could’ve controlled, so don’t you dare feel ashamed of being on the receiving end! One major piece of advice: take time to sort through your emotions and the effects ghosting had on you before you enter a new relationship. If you continuously shame yourself and feel unworthy, you may very well end up being a ghoster yourself. The moral of the story is, never let a past ghosting dull your shine and determine your future.
Plan something to look forward to
Everyone is allowed to go through the motions of being ghosted. It’s no walk in the park, but after some time, you need to get back to your regular speed. Consider planning something exciting you can look forward to: A weekend getaway with someone who makes you smile, a dance class, or something you’ve never done before. Focusing your thoughts on exciting new activities will help you move in a positive direction.