6 Words That Guarantee He's Not The One


“But I could make it work.” You tell yourself this when you like a guy, when he's real effing hot and the sex is mind-blowing and you have this insane, unbreakable bond and the chemistry is off the charts and he just gets you and you don't even know how attraction like this exists in the world, and hell, what are we even saying because did we mention the mind-blowing sex?!

But there’s a major fracture in the foundation. Hurdles that just can’t be cleared. Non-negotiables that will not change. But we continue to ignore…

He already is settled in and never wants to leave the suburbs at age 24. You, being the devout urbanite that you are, think you might catch something if you cross county lines. "But I could make it work."

He rolls deep to church every Sunday with his Catholic Irish family of 12. You think God is spelled E-Y-E-R-O-L-L and only use the G word in acronyms (see: OMG). "But I could make it work."

He lives in one of the most obscure states/countries/islands in the world that requires a leg of travel by paddleboard to reach. You bleed Manhattan. "But I could make it work."

He wants 100 kids. You want 0. "But I could make it work."

He's manic depressive and doesn't believe in getting help. You're the poster child for next-gen purposeful, happy, healthy living. "But I could make it work."

He's not ready for a relationship "right now." You are. "But I could make it work."

He likes dudes. “But I could make it work.” [Grinds teeth to nubs]

You see, women are really good at being flexible. It's in our nature. I mean, our body transforms, stretches, grows and reshapes its skeleton just to make way for another human. In a relationship, or when we really like or have a good time with someone, we do the emotional equivalent. We tell ourselves those seemingly small discrepancies don't matter, that the sex is good enough, or the chemistry is good enough, or the comfort is good enough, or the love is good enough to see you through.

But it's not.

In the back of your mind, you know that you two don't really match up. Sure, you could make it work, but it will never be truly what you want. No, of course no one's perfect, but the right one will make things pretty easy. He'll just fall right into place, you'll be on the same page, enjoy doing things together and respect the things you don't want to enjoy together. You'll want to share in experiences that light his face up, get to know his passions and share yours with him, life goals line up nicely, and you'll never have to struggle to prove or justify what you want or why.

The right person will reawaken all your dreams you put aside over the years so that you could "try to make it work" for the ones who weren't working for you.

When that happens, "But I could make it work" becomes, "Yep, this will work."