Are You Going To Hit Relationship Rock Bottom?
Kidding yourself about your why your dating life blows, well, blows. Girl, don't I KNOW. You want it to change, you really do, and you try everything you think will work, but it's all lather, rinse, repeat. Same date, different dude.
Maybe you're not lying to yourself, per se. Maybe you don't even know what you're doing and how you're self-sabotaging. But something ain't sitting right, and although you SWEAR you want something different—a nice guy, an honest man, a sweet suitor—you're still getting the emotionally unavailable, geographically undesirable, just straight-up douchers.
But Condescending Wonka says: Oh, you're tired of meeting crappy guys are you? You're sick of dating the same lame ducks, you say? But you're not doing anything to change the one common denominator in this equation? Poor you.
Man, CW's a real B, isn't he?
But what he means is, have you shifted you?
Here’s the bad news: The source of the bad-boy-attracting behavior is you. But the good news is, you are in CONTROL of you (and we all love to be in control), and it’s totes up to you to take control of the situation and fix what needs fixin' deep within in order to change the type of dates you find. Capisce?
So what are you secretly holding on to that's keeping you from truly opening up to the real guy you want? And what's it gonna take for you to change?
Because your alternative just might be relationship rock bottom. And honey, not a soul wants to hit that.
Continuing on the path that you have been on is basically making a beeline for rock bottom. We're talking strung-out-in-heated-arguments, getting-the-shakes-from-emotional-distress, I-just-can’t-do-this-anymore bottom.
Everyone’s bottom looks diff (also the reason why you can never find the perfect pair of jeans…).
Mine was fab (cough, cough). He was an older dude (old enough to have DEFINITELY had some divorce baggage but didn't... in a red-flag kinda way) who couldn't accept himself and dragged me down the rabbit hole with him. Things can get RULL touch-'n'-go in those moments.
What’s yours going to look like? Will you stay in a decade-long relationship that is unfulfilling, where you beat your head against a wall to the point that nunneries start to look like a super sweet life choice?
Or perhaps your bag is to just stay single and protect your heart until the apocalypse? Because you'd rather die than subject yourself to emotional vulnerability.
Don’t wait to find out, love. It’s not worth it, and I’d really hate for you to have to find out the hard way. So let’s assess where the disconnect is between what you want and what you keep getting. Then the fun begins—you get to actively take control (buzzword!) and heal/work on/emotionally finagle your way to a better dating life. Dating-habit-breaking, ftw!