Are You Putting Out for the Wrong Reasons? A Guest Post by Nikki Novo


You guys. SERIOUSLY, you guys? I have something super special for you today. I have Nikki Novo. Yes, that's right. Nikki. Novo.

Not familiar with this fine female? Boy, have you been missing out. Nikki is a Miami-based writer, personal development coach and relationship blogger at The Art of You and Me (click it immediately). She is also the light of many people's lives (just meet her, you'll see what I'm talking about) and one of my all-time favorite individuals. So, why all the Nikki love?

La Novo is offering another one of her must-try Love Club workshop series tomorrow, and because I'm just so FREAKING excited about it, I wanted to give you guys a taste of the genius that she will bestow upon you if you go to her class (spolier alert: you're gonna wanna go).

Real talk for a min. Nikki is a large part of why you're even reading this right now. She inspired me to finally pull my head of out my ass and start the blog. She's walked me through my unfounded fears and my self-doubts (we all have them) and familiarized me with the potential for success, all by being a solid example herself.

She can do the same for your dating life. Read on to see what I mean.

Are You Putting Out for the Wrong Reasons? By Nikki Novo

I’m a big giver. But I’m also very aware of my practices. Why? Because I never want to give with the hope of receiving something back.

I mean, don’t you just hate those gifts that come with conditions? Even when it is not vocalized, we’ve all felt the silent pressure from receiving a present that comes with expectations. If I ever accept something with conditions, I imagine the giver sitting at home with a tally chart like Steve Buscemi in Billy Madison. You know what I’m talking about….The red lipstick?

If you’re looking to be disappointed in a relationship, give with the expectation of receiving something back from the person you are giving to. This is really huge to understand. Every time you’re thinking of going out of your way for someone, ask yourself first, “Do I have expectations?”

Whether you’re bringing the guy a cookie to his office or sleeping with the dude, you should be asking yourself this question. And be honest. Ain’t no shame in this game. It’s better to be truthful and mature with yourself than have to deal with the resentment and rejection later. If your cookie is only collateral for the future, just don’t even deliver the goods.

The best part about giving without expecting anything back is that it eventually does come your way again. When I mentor younger girls, I don’t expect them to buy me dinner. But I do know that my budding ladies will give back by teaching others how to make the world a better place.

And that’s the happily ever after to my love story. 

Amazing, right? So go be inspired, learn something about yourself, and finally succumb to the joys of dating (I promise, there are some). TLC (The Love Club -- see what she did there?) happens tomorrow. Sign up here. Do it. No, but for real, you should do it. It will change your life.