Balance is a B*tch (But I’m Learning To Love It)


Balance. It's a real buzzword these days. So much so that if one more person mentions it... Except, the thing is, balance (gah, there it is again) is really important.

But let me tell you, this balance thing? Is WORK.

Because here you are, doing your thang, being awesome, creating amazingness day in and day out, making a dent in this world, going after the big dreams and making them come true by your whole damn self (with the love and support of friends, families, mentors, tribes, and your Pilates teacher, of course).

That takes a lot of effort.

And you want to live wholly. And purposefully. And gratefully.

You want it all (duh, who doesn't?).

And going HAM at the office 7 days a week, 17 hours a day doesn't a whole woman make.

Also? You kiiiinda want the same in your love life. Ain’t no shame in that game.

Yes, part of that dream involves a certain someone. A special certain someone. AND IT'D BE REALLY NICE IF HE WOULD SHOW UP, THANKS. Just kidding. You're not even stressing about it. In fact, you may not even be thinking about it right now, because, who has the time?

And this is where we meet our friend, Balance.

Because, just like you can't achieve #careergoals by binge-watching Gilmore Girls all day, you can't achieve #relationshipgoals by burying your head in another spreadsheet.

Trust me, I've tried.

I used to have a history of not making time for my relationships. And I left all the ones who had complained about it. Hi, didn't they KNOW all of things I had to get done in this life???

So, I always hoped/prayed/rain-danced my way into thinking I'd meet my marriage-material man after I'd launched my Oprah-sized dream. Like, years after when I had a huge team who could help me manage it all, so I could slip away for evenings on the couch and fancy-fun date nights.

Not the case.

Since life is hilarious, I met him months before pre-launch. Months. That's the part of a budding relationship that requires a lot of attention. The part of the relationship where you are attached at the hip, and text all day, and never want to get out of bed.

As I mentioned, I love work. And up until then, I would always choose work over my man.

But with this one, it was different. Because he was the #relationshipgoal I had always wanted. And funny enough, he was showing up at the same time that the #careergoal I had always wanted was also taking shape (see how that works?).

I wanted to be there for him. I wanted to be present. I wanted to show up, put in the effort, and love him.

And so I did.

He was good with planning dates in advance so I was able to work around them. I explained to him my tendency to constantly work, that I'd make a concerted effort to stay off devices while with him, and he appreciated the transparency (subsequently, he didn't mind my live Tweeting Amy Schumer's Emmy win). Some nights, if he wanted to hang out and I needed to work, I'd let him know it'd be a working couch session and asked if he'd be okay with that. Of course he was. (The beauty of finding your balanced partner is that they end up supporting you unconditionally, honor your process and are just happy to be around you.)

I was open and honest about my attempts to balance, which allowed him to help me do it. He's as invested as I am.

But, like I mentioned, balance is a daily practice.

Like yoga. And juicing. And all those other things I don't always get to each day...

You can't give everything 100% all the time. But you can give each thing 100% some of the time. The trick is to know when and how.

Know this: The life you love will support a healthy balance. Your love life will support a healthy balance. The career you love will support a healthy balance. The friends who love you will support your healthy balance. There is nothing to apologize for here.

Hey, goal diggers need love too.

On Monday, November 30, I’m going to be part of a FREE powerful one-day virtual conference called The Bold & Blissful Woman Summit.

The Bold & Blissful Woman Summit is for anyone who wants to be the woman who has it all and achieves true happiness with ease.

Host Nicole Elissa is bringing you brilliance from 10+ self-love influencers (including me!) who will help you boost your creative process and receive more without having to stress or work any harder, simply by incorporating your feminine essence.

And I will be talking about how to balance your love life with a life you love and sharing with you 4 easy things you can do right away to start.

You can register for The Bold & Blissful Woman Summit for free here.

These are video seminars full of info that you can’t find anywhere else. And I’m so pumped they’ve asked me to join!

Whether you're new to the personal development game or have been working on you for years and need that one final push to get over the last hurdle, this virtual summit will be the greatest thing to happen to you this month. PLUS, it’s completely FREE!

So register here now and I'll see you the Monday after Thanksgiving!

xx -Julia


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