10 Things I've Learned After Being in a Relationship for a Year


The BF and I have been together a year today, which is technically the longest official relationship I've ever been in. (2015: A year of slashing personal records.)

It's been a helluva year.

I've learned more about myself in this year than I think I have in the past 3 years combined. And/or maybe I was just ready to put it all into action.

At any rate, it's been such an awesome experience, I thought I'd jot down some notes on what it's like being in a relationship that will go the distance, and the things I've learned after being in it this long.

  1. It can present huge opportunities for growth. You have to be able to recognize them when they appear otherwise they can blow up in your face. They usually look like fights.

  2. It only works if you've done the work on you before you met. You have to be ready and emotionally available to co-create this greatness together.

  3. But you don't get to stop once you're in it. You're still going to have to commit to continual self-refinement. (But, bonus: This is really just helping you get closer to who you truly are slash want to be, so it's not all bad.)

  4. You're still going to find other people attractive. That's totally cool.

  5. It can teach you what it means to be okay with being comfortable in yourself. (This is different that being comfortable in yourself--that's on you to establish--but being able to chill in that space and fearlessly apply that to life situations.)

  6. You still need your girlfriends. There are certain conversations that you can only have with them.

  7. "Perfect" exists. You just have to understand that it's fluid and that it doesn't look like what you thought it would.

  8. This is a choice you make every day. It should be an easy one.

  9. Everyone needs a support system of die-hard fans. You can find this outside a relationship, too, of course. Doesn't matter where you pick them up, but they are necessary to get through life.

  10. You'll never understand what this kind of relationship feels like until you're in it (which is part of the reason we date like crap for so long). But you know when it shows up. It feels like a relief from all the ones that came before.

So here's to the next one (or 50).