Breaking Up Is Hard To Do (But You Can Pull It Off)


Nobody likes a break-up. Whether you’re dishing it or taking it, ending what was once such a promising romantic endeavor is on the low end of the “Fun Things I’d Like To Do With My Day” scale. And very few situations reveal a person’s character like how one handles a break-up. Lack of integrity, immaturity, lack of human decency… There are a lot of things that can come up during this trying time.

Some tell their soon-to-be-exes to kick rocks without a care in the world, but if you’re like me and have any iota of a conscious and empathetic soul, telling someone you’re can be rough. On you.

How does one brace this break-up black hole? In a word (or two), be honest.

How many times have we complained about men’s bad break-up behavior? So, as much as you’d like to pussy out like they do, you can’t stoop to that level. That’d be hypocrisy, bad karma, the opposite of paying it forward—all that stuff.

Be a woman and woman up. It’s not easy, but it’s the decent, respectful thing to do. Sit him down face to face (terrifying, I know) and explain that while you will always have love for him, the romantic portion of this program has come to close. Wish him the best (and mean it).

If you would like to be friends, suggest as much, but be prepared for him to take some space—lots of space—before this actually comes to fruition. And that’s fine. It’s about what he needs now, not you. You just took care of you by breaking up with him and getting yourself out of an unfulfilling relationship. Treating the dude with respect will come back to you, swearsies.

Trying to wean him off of you won’t work. (Yeah, you see me side-eyeing you SO HARD right now.) It seems easier, right? Pick a fight, start being a total B, stop hanging out with him or showing any interest whatsoever, do whatever you can in your power to give him the signals that you are JUST.NOT.FEELING.IT anymore.

Dahling, please.

The man is in love with you. Head-over-heels, pull-out-all-of-the-stops, give-it-his-all in love with you. You think a snide comment here and there is going to make a difference? All you’ll end up doing is making him try harder. C’mon, play nice.

And for the love, make it a clean break—nobody likes the “J/K” dump. Once you break up with him, stick to your guns, no matter how lonely you might get during a Sunday-night Arrested Development marathon. Playing with his mind and heart by continuing to contact him after you’ve made it clear that you don’t want to be with him? Brutal. BRU-TAL. And just plain selfish. I have so much more faith in you than that.

Also, try not to (or just don’t):

Keep seeing him until it just dies out. (See also: weaning him off of you.)

Text him the break up.

DM him the break up.

Instagram him the break up (although, would it be wrong of me to give you props for creativity? Yes, yes it would… But way to think outside the box.)

Overlap into a new guy.