Can Nice Guys Finish First? Yes! But…


I've recently found myself brain-deep in discussion and contemplation about nice guy behavior.

Namely, as I was told, nice guys are around (everywhere, in fact) they’re just… waiting for you to make the first move. Cue the “UGH.”

I’ve heard that the theory behind this nice-guy tactic of waiting in the wings comes from the assumption (sometimes backed by first-person experience, I’m sure) that, after a night of being relentlessly hit on by dime-a-dozen douchebags, fed-up females won’t give the time of day to eligible gentle gents, and, fearing rejection, the sweetie sires forgo their polite pick-up altogether.

Here’s. The. Thing. About. That.

That doesn’t help anyone get a date.

And simply expecting a woman to hit on the man isn’t exactly a solution (there are biological and psychological dynamics at hand that I won’t bore you with).

But don’t despair! Nice guys can finish first, IF they start first.

Guys? Allow me to explain something.

We can tell pretty early on in a conversation if you’re a douchebag. Like, immediately.

So if you come over to say hi and you’re not like the others and there’s chemistry? We’ll entertain the advance.

Secondly, after holding up our jerk shields for so long, TRUST, we’d be glad to lower them. (Cuz I am T-I-R-E-D). Your genuine introduction will be warmly welcomed with open arms.

Additionally, let’s say I have been getting slimed on all evening by Mr. I’m-Too-Kool and the Gang, why in the world would I decide, after deflecting douche-bombs all night, to gather my gumption and approach yet another dude?

A woman—the kind of a woman you want—wants a man.

Now, that does not mean the stereotypical money-grubbing, bitch-calling, overcompensating, womanizing examples rappers, rockstars and ‘roid-heads like to glorify. No, we’re not into that.

I’m talking about a respectful individual, someone who’s smart, funny, engaging and interesTING as well as interesTED.

There’s something to be said for a guy who respectfully goes after the woman he wants. We appreciate it and it shows that you’re not afraid to face a little adversity to reach your goal (a very admirable quality, by the way).

In case you thought that I didn’t know a thing about nice guys, don’t you worry. I’ve dated nice guys a plenty. I'm head-over-heels IN LOVE WITH my nice-guy boyfriend. (Like, stupid happy.)

One thing each nice guy I’ve dated had in common? They made the first move.

So to all my nice guys sitting in a corner, approach her. PLEASE.

And ladies, if you notice him across the bar, lock eyes and give him an inviting, flirty smile of encouragement. Maybe that will get the ball rolling.

PS - Fellas, if a girl doesn’t respond nicely to your nice-guy step-up, she ain’t worth you. Everyone deserves a sweet and respectful partner.

Peeps, what do you think? Do you ladies mind approaching a nice guy? Or do you prefer he kindly come onto you?

RelationshipsJulia1 Comment