How Technology is Ruining Your Dating Life


My (Hot, Fashionable, Smart) LA Friend: I had this amazing date with a new guy the other week, and I was even starting to like him (and you know me, I take for-evah to warm up to someone). Well, guess the feeling wasn’t mutual because he just dropped off and I hadn’t heard from him for weeks. Aaaaand, then he sends me a song via Spotify yesterday. Like, wtf does THAT mean? Means you need to find another guy. Someone with a healthy dose of common courtesy alongside his 2012 modern-day dating skills. While social media and smartphones have quickened the pace of life and allow us to do some pretty awesome things, a downside pops up in the dating scene. Technology has just made it a helluva lot easier for dudes to do less and get more (or at least get about the same as they would if they actually had to try). Meaning: texts, Facebook, Twitter—it all takes zero effort to reach out via these channels. And yet, we read into these meaningless messages, because to us, communication is king.

Herein lies the difference. Women draft and redraft texts until their thumbs bleed, ruminating over the placement of a comma and weighing the pros and cons of including an emoticon (yes, a winky face tooootally says “breezy”—promise). Since we put so much meaning into any type of communication, we assume that men do as well. Not the case. Guys dedicate (maaaaybe) 12% of the same amount of time and thought to their thumb artistry before sending texts, and they def don’t read yours under the microscope with which you wrote it. To men, texting, typing, and tweeting make stringing you along at a distance not only easy, but acceptable. Because why (and this is the best part)? You respond.

He asks you out to drinks via email? “I’m available tomorrow!” you instantly reply. He texts you on a Saturday night while en route to a party and invites you to meet him there? You’ve never gotten ready so fast in your life. He followed you on Twitter?!?! Heaven’s gates just opened, didn’t they? #Swoon.

Back in the day of 8-tracks and rotary dials, if a guy wasn’t serious about communicating, he couldn’t. No cell phones, no internet, no way to get in touch without, well, actually getting in touch (i.e. phone or in person). Simple. Now, dating within the Millennial generation has become a slacker's game. And ladies, they are #winning.

What it comes down to is effort. If a guy really wants to see you, he will put in the effort to do so. He will forgo the likes, retweets, wall posts, and tags and pick up the phone and plan an outing. This is the reality of an otherwise virtual situation.