How to Find the Right Guy – A 3-Step Guide

Man.png

So get this: It's been a WHILE since we last talked. Like, a long while. And, girl, I am so, so, SO sorry about that. I've been banging out my book (whut? Yes, more on that later) and happily, gratefully, lovingly working with my brilliantly gorgeous new clients in my Self-Love Accountability Programs. Want to get in on that life-changing action? Bounce on over to this page right here and check out the deets. Email me with any questions, of course. Anywho... All of that is just a long-winded way of saying, in Oprah's Favorite Things Voice: I HAVE A NEW POST FOR YOUUUUUU

Today we're talking about finding the right guy. What, say you? How is it possible that you know where and how to find these elusive gents??? How are you not making a FAFILLION dollars solving this major world problem????? (Working on it, m'lady)

I know, I know--this seems to be the number 1 problem that us gals have in our dating lives. Most of us run into many men a week, month or year, but time and time again it seems like they all have [insert emotional shortcoming of your choice here].

So what's a self-aware sista to do?

1) Listen to your inner guide.

Depending on your relationship with your intuition, she will speak up softly or with a bodacious boom. Either way, you inner savvy siren is 100% keeping tabs on whether any new guy is a good choice for your authentic self. She will deliver her message in a flash of a feeling, one that you may barely recognize or even understand, but it will be unmistakeable. If he says something that really doesn't sit right with your self-love policy of self-respect, that's a #RedFlagNope and you don't have to spend the next few months or years of your life trying to convince yourself otherwise. If his Instagram feed focuses a wee bit too much on pretty pics of pretty boys and their toy dogs and something feels left of straight, that's a #RedFlagNope that you shouldn't let slip past. If he's a dog person and you're a cat person, and you feel a #RedFlagNope comin' on, he can kick rocks--this just isn't gonna work for you and that is a-okay.

2) Trust your inner guide.

Your intuition is never wrong. Never. Ever, evah. Not trusting your gut, your know-it-all goddess-within, can cause you real problems and long-term frustration. It can take you away from your path to Mr. Right. Learning to trust yourself and what you need in a relationship is part of the love lesson to learn before meeting The One. Because the beautiful byproduct of this practice is that you end up exercising your intuitive muscles AND you start standing in what's true for YOU--and only you, my lovely. When you honestly and unapologetically say NO to what you don't want, you inadvertently say YES to what you do. And you effortlessly get aligned with the attractive suitor of your almost-dreams (almost because he's not perfect and will most likely show up in a package you won't even recognize. But he's perfect for you. Yay). When you choose to try and change your intuitive knowledge to fit what you "should" do with a date ("give him a chance," "not be too picky," "but he's a good guy..."), you get away from who you are and what fulfills you in your relationships.

3) Run.

Finding Mr. Right starts with being honest with yourself about what fulfills you. Anything short of that is for the birds. If you ignore them, those pesky red flag problems will just come right on back in 1 month, 3 months, 7 months... and so on. Ain't nobody got time for that.

Lather, rinse, repeat 'til you get so comfy with what you need to be fulfilled and who you are that you meet one that makes Step 3) a "Stay. Then rejoice and praise Jesus cuz OMGZ could that have taken any longer?!"