How To Know If You’re Being Led on
Sometimes dating situations are clear. He’s into you, he calls and you go out, the relationship buds. Or, alternatively, the spark isn’t there, you part ways, and you don’t have to hear from him again. And then, sometimes, there develops this weird gray area, where you think he’s interested (he def seems interested according to you and all 89 of your girlfriends that you’ve asked), he’s still around and the chemistry is palpable. And yet, there’s just something off. You can’t quite put your finger on it, and really, he just leaves you with questions.
You would think being able to read a situation would be pretty straightforward. But sometimes, even the smartest of cookies can get herself caught up with a dude displaying a false sense of interest.
Like I’ve said here before, guys don’t send mixed messages. It’s just a matter of whether or not you’re truly willing to listen to what they’re telling you, and not just hear what you want.
It’s not that he’s not interested in you. It’s more likely that you two just want different things from the relationship. And that’s why it feels like there’s a miscommunication. If you’ve been upfront about what you want, he’s probably told you that he either is or isn’t on the same page. If you’re not on the same page and you can’t get what you want from him, but you STILL engage with him, there’s a good chance you’re allowing yourself to be strung along.
Here’s how to tell if he’s leading you on:
- He texts/email/calls/contacts you once in a while, like maybe every two to three weeks or so. You know how it goes, it’s just enough time to think he’s not coming back and them BAM right when you’ve given up on him, his text lands in your inbox. So naturally, you think he’s still into this. (Sorry, girl.)
- He tells you he’s not ready for a relationship but still “wants to be friends.” And then maybe tries to hook up with you again (ugh).
- Any time he uses the words “just not right now” in reference to the two of you being together.
- If you’re online dating and he never wants to meet in person. (Abort mission immediately.)
- He gives you the boyfriend experience but doesn’t commit.
- You initiate all contact (of COURSE he’ll respond, you’re making it super easy for him to have his cake and eat it too.)
- He’ll disappear completely (like months), and then ever so conveniently pop back in riiiiight when you’ve started to move on, date someone else or forgotten about him. Lather, rinse, repeat for months on end.
- He has a wife, “separated” or otherwise. (I don’t care what he’s telling you. Just no.)
Maybe you’re hoping he’ll change his mind. He might, but you sure won’t be the one to make him realize it. Doesn’t matter how fantastic you are, he’ll have to do that deed himself, darling.
Let him go so he can grow (without you, of course). This opens you up to find someone who’s available to dedicate his time and attention to you. Fully and undivided. It’s what you would do for him, after all.