How Vulnerability Will Land You Mr. Right


Inspiration for this post comes courtesy of the one Mastin Kipp of If you haven’t familiarized yourself with the genius that is Mastin Kipp’s The Daily Love, please do so immediately following this post. Last week, I was lucky enough to participate in Mastin’s "Love Uni-versity" in which he blew my mind, helped me focus on what the hell I need to get done this year and bestowed general awesomeness upon me. On the final day, he gave us an unexpected dating truth nugget that I just want you all to nosh on for a hot second. And then when you’ve regained consciousness from being punched in the face with brilliance, let’s discuss.

Here’s basically what master Mastin had to say about relationships (are you ready? I don’t think you are. Lord, I pray you’re ready…):

“The way the feminine expresses itself is through vulnerability. From a guy’s perspective, all women are emotional and free. The right man will love that and will show up and make you feel safe, so when you express yourself, he’ll make you feel safe. The only way you can feel safe in a relationship is if the man is present enough to be there for you and you have to be able to fully express yourself and accept that part of you that just wants to emote and express.

“Women have been trained [now] that they’re supposed to be like men. In the work place, this is true, because you need a version of masculine energy to manifest. But that sh*t doesn’t work in a relationship. No man is going to put up with another man in the relationship. And if you end up getting Peter Pan or a more feminine guy, it’s probably because you’re acting like the man in the relationship, setting it all up, you’re making it happen. Why? Because you want certainty. And nothing is more unattractive to a man [...] Because a man wants what he is not; a man wants freedom. And the beauty of the feminine is that it’s free.

Well, I’ll be damned. Because this is EXACTLY what The Thinking Man’s Pin-Up is about. The pure, raw, unadulterated ambrosia of how men and women work in the dating, romantic and relationship world. Balance. There must be energetic balance.

When you reject how you naturally feel, not only are you not living in your own truth, but you reject your natural femininity and you reject his ability for him to be the man in the situation. Accept your feminine wiles. Enjoy ‘em, roll around in them, bathe yourself with ‘em. Get comfy with your feminine side—it’s powerful (girl, I’m working on this too. We are in the same boat, and it is rocky waters out here, let me tell ya.). Being vulnerable (read: being free and feeling your feelings and standing in your truth no matter what) is the opposite of easy. But essentially, this really is just part of accepting yourself in general. Just be and the right guy will want to be with you.

You are all W-O-M-A-N. You deserve your equal in a Man. Capital M. (And this not about blindingly accepting gender stereotypes or traditional gender roles, goodness no. But it's about just being comfortable in the beauty of being a woman. In the beauty of being your whole self. That's it. Simple.)

Despite our recent sociological advances, biologically and psychologically speaking, a man is still a man and a woman is still a woman. You cannot undermine how we are hardwired and what we respond to. We all express both masculine and feminine energies, and there is a time and a place to exude both, separately. There is a yin to your yang and the right yield will have him saying “Yowza!” (in a good way, of course).