Princess Elsa Knows What's Up: Let It Go

Last week I finally caught the Oscar-winning hit Frozen. (Yes, I admittedly watch animated movies. We move along.) Not only did it bring full circle the blunder that was John Travolta's introduction on Oscar night, but I finally got to see what this whole "Let It Go" situation was all about. And thank God for that.

Because it got my wheels a-turning...

The whole business of dating, relationships and love-looking thrives on one's ability to let go.

You have to let go of what the ex-boyfriend behaved like so that you don't project all his stuff onto the next one. You have to let go of the fear of heartbreak so that you can open yourself back up to getting down in the love department. You have to let go of unrealistic expectations.

And this doesn't stop once you're IN a relationship. No, no. In those, you have to let go of fights, have to let go of needing to be right, have to let go of single-minded prioritizing.

Break ups, make ups, and a lot of the cute crap in between requires a constant letting go.

And, when a romantic rendezvous comes to an end--at whatever level of seriousness it may have reached--we often get caught up and stuck because we CAN'T let go. Of what we thought would have happened, or what we wanted so very, very badly to happen. That damn "what if" future is always thwarting our feeble attempts at seeing things for what and who they really are, isn't it?

Reality check: Nobody likes to be stuck. You weren't built to be stuck. And being stuck means you're either living in the past or the future, none of which are really real. Pretty pointless, eh?

But how does one get unstuck and move on with her glorious life?

Girl, you better make like Princess Elsa and let it go. (Yeah, yeah, Elsa's talking about stepping into her authenticity and power—WHICH IS ALSO AMAZING—but let's just zero in on the general concept of letting go, mmk?)

Let go of the expectations you have of him. Let go of the future you think you could have with him. Let go of what you would change about him. Let go of his potential. Let go of trying to fix him.

Let go of what was or wasn't said or done. Let go of the pain he caused you. Let go of the power you think he has over you. Let go of the things he promised you and never did.

Let go of the need to find meaning in the connection you share. Let go of the hamster-wheel thoughts. Let go of why it didn't work and find the life lesson instead.

Instead, be grateful.

Grateful for knowing what connection like that feels like in this world (there's a solid chance you might have never felt that in your life). Grateful for learning what love is and isn't. Grateful for the time you did have with him.

Grateful for what he taught you about yourself. Grateful for how much stronger he made you.

Grateful for learning what you do and do not want. Grateful for the new boundaries you have set. Grateful for learning how to trust yourself.

Grateful for dodging that bullet.