Relationship Success: It’s 10% Love, 90% Timing


definition of insanity albert einstein I’m going to keep this one short today (I say that now).

Here’s how (romantic) life goes:

You date, you meet people. You work on yourself. You grow up. You learn new things about yourself and you mature (if you’re lucky and really dedicated to the cause). And as you shift, you start to attract different dates into your life that reflect your progress back to you. Good for you. Proud of ya.

And then there’s that one.

Maybe he was the first one. The one that got away. The one you wanted to work on, your project. The one you secretly had the highest of hopes for.

But the timing wasn’t right then. And now, he’s the one who keeps resurfacing. Well, this should be fun.

Even though you’ve grown and matured and know what you want, you get pulled right back in, well, because he’s that one. Duh. You just want to see… See what’s there. See if maybe, just maybe, you guys can finally meet in the same place.

This plays out in one of two ways. I’m going to start with the most likely scenario:

1) It’s still the wrong time. He’s still doing the same stuff he always did. He has not changed.

Ooof, I know that’s hitting a little hard. But honestly, if he comes back into your life doing the same song and dance… You know, there’s that whole definition of insanity and what not.

Something to consider: Don’t you think it would have worked out by now? If you were meant to be RIGHT MEOW, don’t you think that you, him, God, the universe, Krishna, and Buddha would have all figured out a way for you two to work by this point?

I bet it’s going something like this in your head, “But we have this connection. I truly believe that our love will overcome and he’ll finally see…” Hate to say it, but no.

Here, love is not enough.

2) On the other hand, because I’m a sucker for hopeless romance (but let’s just keep that between you and me, mmk?), you may circle back and it might finally be the right guy at the right time. But you will know. Everything—and I mean everything—will be different and things will fall into place. It won’t be so difficult; it won’t be so hard. It will just be.

In any successful relationship, it only ever comes down to timing. It could be a case of “right guy, wrong time” or, my favorite, she’s a decent-enough girl but it’s the right time for the guy, so she gets the ring. Infuriating, no? But it is what it is. No amount of soul-connecting, life-changing love will overcome bad timing.

So keep your wits about you. Keep growing, moving forward. Eventually you will arrive at the right guy at the right time, whatever package he comes in. I can guarantee that.