That’s What He Said: What Men Really Find Sexy


Mila Kunis as Esquire's "Sexiest Woman Alive" 2012.

Huge news, girls. HUGE. The “That’s What He Said” series is BACK. It’s been a while since we’ve gallivanted around the minds of men—we were long overdue. So here we go, jumping right back in forehead first with a topic that drills down to the core of things: What men really, truly, for-real, yes-he-just-said-that-and-no-we’re-not-kidding think is sexy.

Let’s do this.

Mario, 26, Miami:

I know it sounds corny and cliché, but what I find most attractive about a woman is her confidence. Boys talk about "swagger" and "game" but that’s all just silly talk. There is a vast difference between a woman that is confident and a women that is cocky. A lot of women are afraid to be themselves and sometimes their personalities just start to blend into whatever they think the man likes. Example:

Guy: Babe are you hungry?

Gal: I don't know, babe. Are you hungry?

Guy: Yes, babe. Do you like Indian food?

Gal: I don't know, babe. Do you like Indian food? 

See where I'm going? Some women are scared to have an identity, which is the most unattractive thing to a man and we get bored. But that doesn't mean we like an overly demanding or abrasive women either. It’s just about being natural. Same goes in the bedroom when you start getting in the mood and a girl tries to jump on top of you and acts like a freak because she thinks that’s what you want. It's obvious and unnatural and we see it quickly, like lame acting. Not that men don’t like the freak stuff but we just like things to flow naturally and if that’s who you are, then go for it.

This may also sound cliché, but a girl that is down-to-earth and doesn't get easily offended by every single thing. Men have seen so many hott Miami women in clubs in tiny dresses with caked-on makeup and fake eye lashes looking like a peacock. Then when we actually talk to them, they act as if we need to be wooing them and buying them drinks as if it is privilege to talk to them. When a woman is too unapproachable or not easy to talk to, it’s a pretty big boner-kill. So, ladies, if you don't have a personality of your own and you’re a lame actress in the bedroom you might as well just spray the dick repellent all around you now. 

The takeaway: Peacocks = boner killers.

And now for the recently immigrated POV:

Victor, 26, Riga, Latvia:

It generally helps if she's French. There are pretty, beautiful and otherwise attractive women in all parts of the world, but French women seem to have that certain je ne sais quoi, after all. The real test of this is the fact that even French ladies who are not naturally good looking, young or in particularly good shape frequently have a way of capturing the masculine imagination.

I'm sure that others have given this much more thought, but there are a few distinctive traits that I've picked up on myself. French women make an effort to be feminine. This is obvious but key. For instance, many American girls often wear t-shirts, sneakers and other apparel that may well have come from their boyfriends' closets. I'd think that the more difference there is between the sexes, the better. Moreover, all French ladies—from my sophisticated, 50-something high school language teacher to the unassuming girl who cuts my hair—know how to flirt while keeping their distance and make a habit of it. Lastly, the ones who have made lasting impressions on me have had a contradiction about them: they had something of both the ingénue and the femme fatale—they could come across as sweet and innocent, yet know how to be mysterious and seductive. Of course, a sexy foreign accent helps as well! 

Flirting is a great way to build confidence and exude confidence, which touches on Mario’s point too (see that? It comes full circle). I say practice flirting regularly, even if it’s with someone you’re not really digging. One day, you will be chatting up Mr. Right and by then your flirt-game will be so on point (if you’ve been putting in the work), there’s no way he’s going to say no to a second, third and fourth date.

All in all, be confidant about being you. Honor your hot uniqueness, your messy individuality and your attractive imperfections.