The Lost Art of Planning a Date


My girlfriend scored two digits last weekend. (“Oh, just another Saturday night for you, then.” I said. Bah dum dum... No? Okay, moving on…). Although one 22-year-old (yes, apparently myself and my group of girlfriends have been inducted into that illustrious cougar sorority, unbeknownst to us but DEFINITELY beknownst to the puppies that like to hit on us now. PPS – we’re all still under 30.) was particularly stage 5, texting her alldayeveryday for weeks, when it came time for that Saturday night invite, she always got a “What are you doing?” Oh, yay. That text. It TOTALLY makes me want to put on real pants and leave the house. Yeah, yeah, he’s 22, you say. His balls haven’t even dropped yet. I concur. However, this trait isn’t one reserved just for the barely-legal-to-drink.

Somewhere between online dating (where 1,002 emails/winks/pokes/emojis are exchanged before dating decisions are made), sexting and Twitter, we’ve lost sight of actually doing the dating due diligence ritual in person. Instead, we get the “Hey, you wanna come over?” texts, the incessant “What do you wanna do?” dance, and the “We should hang out some time” winner.

My personal fave is the email that includes a whisper of suggested drinks. It’s best when there’s not a specific date, or time, or location or any thought put into it whatsoever. You’re not even entirely sure he means it. It’s just a general putting-out of feelers, you know, so that if she hits reply and says no, dude doesn’t have to cop to actually being rejected.

Gone are the days of the assertive ask.

In our current 140-charactered lives, we seem to be able to handle only snippets of commitment. We now think we’re better off with small dosages of reality, of new experiences, of putting yourself out there. There’s a real aversion to committing to a full multi-hour evening of conversation, let alone to the mere act of requesting one. After all, you can’t delete a real-life date.

I’m not saying Prince Charming needs to plan something epic and Barney-Stinson-style legendary like, say, a helicopter ride around the city (we’ve all seen how well that works out for the ladies of ABC’s The Bachelor. A-no, thanks.). A simple dinner and drinks should suffice. (Note to the sirs: If the chemistry is mind-blowing, the date will follow suit.) Something that gets us out of the house where we can really address that whole “getting to know you” thing. But hey, I guess if I really wanted to get to know you, I could always just follow you on Twitter, right?

I know where I stand on the matter (I’ve had less-than-30-years to think about it), but I want to get inside your head. Ladies, let me know: If the man can’t manage, should us dames step in (and guys, be honest, tell us how you really feel if we did)?

RelationshipsJulia1 Comment