The Michael G Tell All... About Dating
I have a treat for you today. A smart, funny, piercingly blue-eyed, tanned treat.
You may know him as Michael G., the beefy, sensitive suitor discarded by The Bachelorette’s Des somewhere around week eight. In real life, he’s Michael Garofola, is just as yummy, knows how to plan an insanely romantic—but not cheesy!—date, and, girl, if he was sitting in front of you? You wouldn’t send him packing ANYWHERE (unless it’s to the fantasy suite, amirite?).
I sat down with this sexy single who’s got it so going on in every non-dating aspect of his life—particularly the “looking good” category—to see what it takes to attract a man like him who would be deserving of your awesomeness.
Because you, too, are killing it at the game of life, and may just need a twee bit of guidance when it comes to finding Mr. Right. Since we’re all looking for our equal (no? Just me?), I’m bringing you yours today.
TMPU: How in the WORLD are you single?
Michael Garofola: I don’t know. I’ve done it all. I’ve met the girl in the supermarket. I’ve met the girl in Starbucks. I’ve met the girl in the bookstore. I’ve been set up. I’ve done Match.com. I feel like I’ve done it all and given everything a chance. I’ve even gone through speed dating.
Share your dating strategery with us.
My problem is that I’ve always been proactive and I think this is one area of life where the harder you work doesn’t necessarily lead to more success. I think the reason why I’m successful in all other areas of life is because I’ve worked very hard at being successful. But in this area I think I need to let go a little bit and trust a little bit more. So that’s what I’m trying to do right at the moment.
Heartbreak—we’ve all been there. Have you recovered from yours?
I don’t know if you ever get over that feeling that you had. The most positive thing that I took away from doing the show is the hope that I could love again and that I am ready for that. I am ready and as healed as I’ll ever be.
Is love supposed to be easy?
I think that opinion applies to the first stage. It should seem natural and easy when it's right. If you have to work too hard at it, right off the bat, that's an ominous sign. I think if there are huge obstacles and conflicts in the early stages, that's probably a sign that something is not quite right, that perhaps you're not compatible. In the beginning, it should be sunshine and rainbows, no?
(It sure was sunshine and rainbows from where I was sitting…)
But, later on, I think all relationships take work and compromise, regardless of how in love you are. Being in love just means that you're willing to stick around and put in that work because it's worth it to you to do so.
Do you fall in like easily?
No, I think everything takes me a little bit. I’m not a serial dater. It’s a big deal for me to have a girlfriend. I take that very seriously. But I get excited very easily—when I meet someone I like, I get that excited feeling. Those butterflies, I get that.
Do you like to be the aggressor or do you like when women take the lead?
I like to be the aggressor. Part of what I don’t like about the attention from the show is that sometimes women are very aggressive. It’s nice and I think it’s good to be met halfway. I don’t like to chase. There are times when I think it might be easier for me to replace than to chase. But I think if anybody’s chasing, it should be me, but there should be some signs of reciprocity. There should be some signs of interest. I’m not going to chase if I’m just being told go away. I’d never do that. That’s not me.
(Who in their right mind would tell this man to go away?)
On approaching women at the clerb:
If I’m out and I see someone attractive, I don’t just go up to her unless I get eye contact. If I make eye contact and she doesn’t give me eye contact back, she’s not interested. I’m not shy, if she does make eye contact back, I’ll go introduce myself easily.
Do you have a type?
Nope. I know it when I see it.
(OPEN DOOR POLICY, LADIES.)
You’re a great catch—how does a woman snag you?
She’ll catch me just by being herself or she won’t and there’s nothing she could have done. And I tell myself that too, because I’ve dealt with rejection. You always do think, ‘What could I have done differently? What should I have done?’ Nothing. If someone rejects you when you’re being yourself , that’s a good thing. That person did the right thing for you and that person because you can’t be something you’re not and eventually your true self is going to come out.
(Man, this is important. This is so, so important.)
He has a list of qualities that turns him on. Ready?
Having some ambition, having some career, purpose. Education is important. A sense of humor is important. I like to be sarcastic and witty. Look, if I find a girl that can make me laugh as much as I make her laugh, that’s very attractive, because that’s very rare.
Wait, wait. There’s more:
I do not get embarrassed easily. I am goofy, I laugh at myself, I go out and have fun and dance and act like an idiot. I don’t want a country club girl, a Stepford wife. I have so many groups of friends and I don’t want someone who’s judgmental or who cant let go and have a good time. Absolutely not. That would be a huge turn off. I would not get along with that person.
Sex. Tell me your thoughts.
I think people read into that too much. I think it’s good to have some restraint. But if [the connection] is there, it’s there. It’s not like, “Had I not had sex with him on night one, we’d be married.’ I assure you that’s not the case. I don’t think there should be a hard and fast rule. (ZING) I don’t like when girls have a set rule, like three months or five dates or until we’re boyfriend and girlfriend. That’s ridiculous. That for sure will turn me off. And not because I’m not getting any (DOUBLE ZING), I just don’t want someone that rigid. There’s a reason you’re single, and having those silly rules might be one of the reasons. I think you need to adapt.
What’s a first date with you look like?
I think a concert is a great date actually. You can talk, you can dance, have drinks. I like traditional dates, too. Dinner is a good date. Not right away. I only ask girls out to dinner when either I’ve already known them for a while or after one or two other dates to meet up for coffee or drinks, something quick. I like dinner and doing something afterwards, going for a drink, going for a walk. It sounds cheesy but I do like going to the beach and doing a bottle of wine or champagne on the beach. Put a blanket down, have two glasses and some snacks and champagne and wine.
(Snacks. I die.)
And because I had to find something wrong with him: What’s the one complaint that all your ex-girlfriends have about you?
That I didn’t marry them, ha. (I believe it.) Maybe I’m a little intolerant. I am very set in my ways and I have a very strong opinion on right and wrong so I feel like I can be hard on people when I feel like they’ve done something I think is wrong. And I expect a lot of people. I have very high expectations. Especially of a girlfriend. If I’m at the point of calling someone my girlfriend, that’s a big deal for me. That means I could potentially want to marry that person.
#Swoon. His answers were so dead on, so perfectly aligned with what I preach here that he could write this damn thing himself. This hot piece confirms that you should continue striving to be your beautiful, authentic, sultry self--that is truly the only way to find love that is meant for you. But basically, your main takeaway should be that he’s single, duh. I’ll be circulating a sign-up sheet shortly.
If you want more of this Garofola goodness, follow him on the tweet @MichaelGarofola and Instagram, @mgarofol. Do it—he’s an entertaining dude.