What To Do When Googling Your Date Goes Wrong


I have to admit, I’m a little too good at this Googling game. Throw a little Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn action in there, and there’s virtually nothing I can’t discover.

This comes in handy when, say, your date has a warrant out for his arrest, lied to you about his age, or owns the copyright for “IITYWYSMD” (translation: “If I Told You Would You Suck My D*ck”) (true story).

Cyber stalking is less than helpful, however, when you’re being neurotic and are feeding your need to know. Ultimately what ends up happening in that scenario, is that you take some of the insignificant information that you find and blow it way out of proportion, creating drama in your head, and thus, in your dating life. This might be because you WANT to find something wrong with him so that you can sabotage what might actually turn into a good thing.

Not everything is red flag material. Granted, only you will be able to determine where your comfort threshold gives out and the flags start to raise, but allow me to be your external voice of reason (because I’m here to help, of course) and give you a few guidelines when Googling.

Things to look out for:

• Public records of jail time/arrests/mug shots

• Fake Facebook profiles where ALL of his friends are only girls

• Evidence that you’ve caught him in a lie (no matter how small, girlfriend, he is LYING to you, and ya’ll aren’t even together yet. This does not bode well for developing trust and honesty later in the relationship…)

• Douchebag-isms

• Twitter fights (that spells D-R-A-M-Z!)

Things not to write him off for:

• A bad Twitter handle

• His Facebook interests don’t match up with yours

• That one really bad photo where he looks really stupid and is probably really drunk and is making you question his cool-factor (don’t judge—there’s one of you floating around out there somewhere too…)

• Something not-so-awesome he posted 3 years ago (if you’ve ever gone back through you’re old Gchats/emails/Facebook messages, you’d probably hardly even recognize your own voice)


If you do find something that’s a deal breaker, no need to confront him with your detective skills. If you feel that strongly about what you found, talking about it to him won’t likely change the outcome (and he’ll only just make you seem like the crazy one). Quietly freak out in the privacy of your own home/circle of friends (if you feel compelled), then compose yourself and just walk away from the relationship. Always exit gracefully (it saves you time, energy and face).