Why You Shouldn’t Stress About Your Valentine’s Day Gift


Well, it’s here, folks. Valentine’s Day 2k13. Also referred to as V-Day-, D-Day, VD-Day… Some women are really into this day, and I know a LOT of guys who get really scared/worried/dump people just to avoid having to deal with it/concerned about the Valentine’s Day gift.

Have you been stressing about what he’s going to get you for this wondrous occasion? Does the ENTIRE FUTURE OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP rely on the gifts that arrive today? Perhaps it just simply means everything to you. Fair enough, but...

Omgthatssomchpressure. All for one day.

Question: why does that saccharine sweet sentiment mean so much to you today? I’m talking today in particular. What is it about Valentine’s Day that makes us see red, so to speak?

Do you want a Valentine just for the sake of having one?

Do you want that public display of affection-attention so that other women can see that you’re “loved”?

Do you desire those special somethings so that you can be reassured of his undying love for you?

I think you’d know what I’d have to say about those first two.

(If you don’t, the synopsis: 1) Girlfriend, you’re waaaay better off by your self-loving self than with someone whom you don’t love and who doesn’t appreciate you; and 2) Oy. Living up to others’ expectations is so 2002. All that should matter is: If you truly, authentically, unconditionally loved yourself, would you be in that relationship?)

So let me tackle that last little situation. Do you really need the red-and-pink pomp and circumstance to know that he loves you?

Let me ask you something real quick about what happens during those other 364 days in your relationship:

Does he tell you he loves you frequently and at random moments?

Does he surprise you with gifts, flowers, acts of love for no reason?

Does he take you out to the places, movies and entertainment you love because he wants to see you happy?

Does he stare at you and smile without speaking? And when you ask him, “What?” all he replies is, “Nothing” and keeps smiling?

Does he respect you in any and all situations?

Does he stand up for you no matter who’s waging against you?

Still open the car door even though you’ve been together for a while?

Dance with you when no one else is dancing?

Praise your beauty even at your most harried moments?

I could go on. But I don’t need to. You get it. As I said yesterday in “Four Dating Experts Reveal…The Perfect Valentine’s Day” on EssentiallyAngela.com:

“Any time someone you love expresses to you their true, authentic unconditional love for you (and vice versa), that’s perfection. The how is just a minor detail.”

And if he doesn’t do things like those listed above, then, honey? You and I both know what’s up, and no insane amount of red roses one day out of the year can substitute.

So, you see, everyday should be Valentine’s Day. That’s what we should be shooting for. And if you’ve found that, then kudos and don't sweat the valentines. If not, no biggie (samsies over here!), but don’t try to force it just because it’s V-Day. One day at a time. And in the meantime, enjoy your chocolates today, boo.

RelationshipsJulia2 Comments