Don’t Sell Your Sexting Self Short

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Here’s a question: Why do we, when men tell us blatantly that they are not available to give us what we want, not listen? Not only do we not listen, but we think we can change his mind, and go on the offensive and try even harder to get his attention/get him to commit/get him to give more. Example:

My bff gets around. I love him, but he is a ho-ho-ho (he’s secure in this identity, don’t worry). Has a rotating roster of at least 10 women at any given time, in at least three time zones that he skype-sexs, bangs and has fake relationships with. That charming mutha…

So he had met (and by met, I mean bumped uglies with) this new lady-friend and within the first WEEK of them “hanging out,” she asked him if he was sleeping with other ladieths. [Blank stare]

He told her—actually fessed!—that he had had sex with two girls since her. Wow, right? But wait—even that was a lie, obvs. Cuz he had stuck it to four that week alone.

But two was enough. Her mind was blown.

Blown. Away.

Which, let’s be honest, is silly in itself. Girl, you asked him after AN WEEK. For all intents and purposes, he SHOULD be sleeping his way through town. He’s single, he’s charming, and you banged him the first night. What makes you think he’s not doing that with a fafillion other girls?

So what'd she do? She started sending him naked pics. Yup. Because THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT YOU SHOULD DO WHEN A DUDE TELLS YOU HE WON’T GIVE YOU WHAT YOU WANT.

She got insecure and so she turned on the sex, a last ditch effort to exert the power of the pussy over him. For the guy who was already sleeping around...? Did she think this would make him put a ring on it? This feels very high-school: “But he’ll like me more if I give him my v-card.” (Granted, there’s a 37% chance she may actually be in high school, knowing my friend…).

Love. Can I just….Can we… I just want to say… Like, ugh [insert exasperated sigh]. WHY. WHYYYYY. This is literally one of the SADDEST displays of powerlessness, insecurity, and low self-esteem and is the EXACT reason why I got in to this whole blogging-to-help thing in the first place. This is heartbreaking. And just soooo unnecess.

When a guy tells you he’s a manwhore and is—gasp—actually honest with you about it (one of the rarer moments in history), listen to him. And then walk away. Please. He’s telling you he is not interested in a relationship, dating, or doing anything more than what you’ve already allowed him such easy access to. This is not who you deserve to be with. You know better. Let’s not settle for crumbs, k, gorgeous? Save the sexts for your real sweetie.

RelationshipsJulia2 Comments